Friday, July 12, 2013

Bits & Pieces: Things We Say

The discussion started yesterday, when a Facebook friend posted the following statement “The mom sitting next to us just told her 4-year-old to ‘back that ass up’ so she could sunscreen him... I think we have a different approach to parenting.”

What followed was a flurry of posts, discussing the things we say, and teach children today.

I’ll admit, the conversation stuck with me.... and yes, the former children’s pastor’s soap box came out of storage.

Students listen to what adults say. Our message matters.

Think I’m being silly? Maybe not.

One Wednesday night, not so long ago, I had the following conversation with a group of “tweens” in my life.

I walked in to a room to the group of lovely fourth and fifth graders creating a list of “things Miss Kaylea says a lot.”

Yes, I even took a picture of the dry erase board — It was a great memory.

I confess. It’s true.

These sayings have crossed my lips multiple times. Let me translate the list for you.

In the room: please don’t run up and down the hallways (the choir is practicing down the hall).

Focus: let’s get back on task....your attention please.

Cop-A-Squat: (Blame this line on Pretty Woman) — come on, have a seat.

Where are Lucy and Delaney?: (insert other names) — sometimes girls go to the bathroom in pairs, or trios or more.....and disappear.

5 minutes till your mine: Ok, free time is over in five minutes — and then it’s time to get serious.

Be quiet: Um... have you ever tried to talk over a room of tween girls?

Circle up: Sometimes the only way to get them to focus is to have everyone sit in a circle.... which usually leads to the “focus and/or the “cop-a-squat” comment....

I can probably add to my list:

It’s all good.

Cool beans (and weenies).

No worries., but always feel free to ask. Thanks Cydni for this one.

Um do you want to live long and die of old age. Blame my mom for this one...a.k.a. are you sure you’re making the right choice right now?

It takes three nice things to make up for one mean/bad thing. Seriously, think about it. It’s true.

Hi, how are you?

Anything new and exciting happening in your world? (Anything you want to tell me, that I haven’t asked about?)

Let’s face it. I have a few “standard lines” in my arsenal.

While I say these things, I really hope the students within my sphere of influence really hear the following messages:

I love you.

I think you are amazing.

I know you can do great things.

God has an amazing plan for your life.

I have high expectations for you.

I care for you.

I will do anything for you.

You can always call me. If it involves bail, we’ll talk.

I’ll always be there for you — which also means I’ll go with you if you need to tell your folks something.

I hope they hear what I mean, along with what I say.

I would rather they hear those messages, filled with love, hope and respect, rather than “back that ass up.”

Somehow, I think that matters the most.

Kaylea M. Hutson is the managing editor of The Grove Sun. She can be reached at or 918-786-2228. This column originally appeared in the July 12, 2013 issue of The Grove Sun

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